Ever venture into a parenting board where the topic is breastfeeding? Glad you came out alive. How badly were you scarred? If there is one topic to rile mother's up, it is how to feed your kids. Not how to feed their kids... how to feed your kids. Because clearly, breast is best. But formula is great too and not rat poison, and breastmilk could potentially be lacking nutrients, and do you feed it in a bottle or direct port? Are you pumping enough or not enough? Did you mix the formula just right? BPA free bottle? Glass or plastic or medical grade silicone? Wide nipple to emulate the breast, or standard nipple? What kind of pump are you using? Does your formula have DHA? Soy? Gentlease? Organic? What's your diet like? OMG, did you seriously take cold medicine? The questions are endless. The bashing is endless. One of the biggest mommy wars, and sadly there are no winners, except the babies that are getting fed, growing healthy and strong, and are thriving.
I gave up on breastfeeding my daughter about 3 days after we got home from the hospital. I didn't want to nurse in public (ducks to avoid squirting milk from the breastfeeding advocates) so I decided to pump exclusively, giving my daughter my own milk, but from a bottle (ducks to avoid formula cans from formula advocates.) I took a middle road. I only did it for about 4 months, but since I had enough milk stored to last 6 months, I tell people I pumped for 6 months. I know, horrible. But I feel bad enough about denying my daughter the most basic and important bond of her life, yada yada yada. I chose a middle road. It worked for us, until it stopped. Then I had mommy guilt about quitting, even though it was driving me crazy and I'd spend more time crying about feeding her than actually feeding her. Mommy guilt. A whole 'nother post.
Oh, to make matters worse, I'm exclusively breastfeeding my son. Not because I'm some sort of hero or anything. I'm cheap and I'm lazy. The bonding is great, all of that. But seriously it can be a pain sometimes. But he has to eat, and I don't think his system is quite ready for McDonalds yet, so breastfeeding it is. I'm told that it is unfair to my daughter that I'm showing more dedication and love to my son by doing this for him. I don't know. I can say that I worked much harder to feed her in those six months... whoops, four months, than I have in breastfeeding my son for eight months.
Ok, so I have to say, my daughter, who was given milk exclusively for 6 months, then formula, has gotten sick. My son, who has never had a drop of formula, has gotten sick. My daughter has hit all of her developmental milestones early or on time. So has my son. Which is better? Probably breast, since it is more natural. But I have no problems with formula. Which is easier? I don't know. I love how easy it is to feed my son, when I am at home. No bottles to wash, nothing to pump, nothing to mix. It is great. When I'm out and about, I hate it. I don't like nursing in public. It is my right, I get that. But I hate it when people look at me with that look. I hate wondering if someone can see something I don't want them to see (basically, any part of my torso uncovered.) I hate that my husband hardly ever gets to feed our son. He isn't too fond of that either. I hate that I get all the middle of the night shifts, and that my son is now in our bed because he still wakes up at night and wants to eat. Co-sleeping is just easier and allows me a few more minutes of sleep. But man, I hated pumping and I hated cleaning those bottles. So I don't know what wins out. All I know is I'm trying to do the best that I can for my kids. I'm guessing that they'll turn out just fine (well, at least nutritionally... I can't speak for emotionally yet.)
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